Hey, yes me again :) How are you? Great I hope.
The point of this post is talking about the future, what I think about it. The ussual question: "Where do you see you in twenty years?"
I dont really know it yet. I need to make a choise. I can choise a "easy" life, going to medical school (like my parents want), having a good job, a family, being a "normal"wife living in a small country, maybe in a white house... On the other side, that isn't what I wish for me. Not for a moment, ok maybe for two seconds it look a great life but in the end I will think to my self. "If I..."
If I have being an actress ( I love to act), if I have travel and going to Music Festivals with friends insted staying home and studing. It is fair? I will spend the best years of my life studing and think in books and maths, and then I will work all my life in a close place, then I will return home and I will say goodnight to my children, however I never see theam 'cause I'm at work saving others people life and ruin mine., and then I will kiss my husband on the cheek, I will wish him a good night, then I turn to the other side of the bed and I cry because I work to much and my married is not working, because I never see my family, my husband dont love me. How can you love someone that just happear at night for a couple of minutes, kiss you on the cheek and wish you a good night. That's why I'm angry with my life. Because I know how it will turn out if I dont trust my self.
I need to follow my dreams. I'm afraid. Of course I'm, but I'm terrified about the other choise, the "too much work woman".
That in the end of the day thinks: " I safe five lifes today, but I miss mine"
It's a bad thing to say. But I'm not altruistic enought to being like that. I want to travel, I want to study history (what I really love), I want to being on a stage and being someone else for a moment. I want a real life, that kind of life that in the end you are pleased for had it.
Bye.
Girl with Black All Stars :)
